Runnin' the roads...on empty (still)

This is a functional post to explain my blogging absence...

Where have I been? What have I been doing?

For those of you who have feared the worst and imagined me drunk on an island, imprisoned by the tempestuous effects of my former love, Alexander Keith, lift your heads and rest your hearts. I have not returned to that destructive relationship. I am as sober as when we last met.
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No, the cause of my absence has not been a torrid and impassioned affair with the nectar of the Gods. While I continue to mourn the absence of a good stiff drink, it's not in the same desperate way that it once was. The deep sense of loss I felt over giving up the hooch continues to be replaced by the sense of accomplishment and pride I get from running. It has actually been the running that has kept me from putting pen to paper.

The days, weeks and months have passed, as they always do, the difference is the time has been used for good and not evil. I have made good use of the time that has lapsed since my last post. In May I shared a post  that highlighted the new coaching relationship I was involved in, which at the time had me running around my neighborhood slower than my Grandma as we made use of heart rate training. That approach served me well.

In June I began the marathon training schedule that my coach took great care to create. The plan focused on making Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon my 'A' race and getting me there injury free. As the spring turned to summer the weekly kilometers built and with that came a bigger time commitment. Between running, cross training, strength training, foam rolling and stretching I put in between 8-12 hours on top of my full time job and family responsibilities.

These 8-12 hours have been well spent and still fall short of the weekly drinking time card I used to punch. Spending this time in my running shoes has kept me from sitting at a computer. There you have it! This is where I have been all summer...out running the roads, for real.

My "Aha" Moment(s)

I am honored to be a part of the Fit Approach team as a #sweatpink ambassador. The following is a link to the blog post I created, highlighting the moments when things began to take a turn toward sobriety and an active lifestyle.

Check it out. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Christa :)

http://www.fitapproach.com/2013/06/i-got-it-and-found-my-happiness/

Running & Fundraising for Asperger's Society Of Ontario at STWM

Six weeks ago our nine year old daughter Tilley was diagnosed with high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder. For years we knew that our child was different than her peers, but there always seemed to be an excuse as to why. At a very young age, we recognized that intellectually, Tilley was more advanced than those her age, but she struggled with social norms. In Kindergarten, she could spell and read better than children three grades ahead of her, but she couldn’t handle waiting her turn to play. She could work numbers as well as kids much older than her, but had a meltdown if her pencil broke.

Our home was filled with unhappiness and frustration as we tried to move from one day to the next hoping to avoid anything that might cause Tilley to have a meltdown. Our morning could be going fine until something as simple as a drop of apple juice spilled on her clothes at which point she would strip down (often right as we were trying to go out the door) and begin rolling on the floor crying. When this happened, it could take 20-30 minutes to get her to calm down. Most times once she “snapped” out of it, she behaved as nothing had happened.

Over time, we became familiar with the types of things that would set her off, and as such, we became very good at micro managing her life. The biggest glitch in that plan was that we couldn’t control everything on her behalf as a large portion of her day was spent at school. At school, there were teachers that tried to understand and help her and there were those who often made things worse. She has always referred to them as either “warm fuzzies” or “cold pricklies” and to be honest, I have always agreed with her assessment of her teachers. Kids know a decent adult when they meet one.

When she was diagnosed, we were not surprised. We had exhausted every possibility for her “quirky” behaviours ranging from “she’s gifted” to “she’s spoiled” to “she’s a perfectionist”. The diagnosis actually was a relief because we had a direction to move in to try and help her and our family heal.   

In the first few days after the diagnosis we began to see that there were many agencies and organizations available to help us help her. Tilley’s diagnosis of high functioning ASD is also sometimes known as Asperger’s Syndrome; at least this is what we identify with. This is why I have chosen to fundraise on behalf of Asperger’s Society of Ontario at the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon.

This organization in particular requires our attention and support as they do not receive government funding for the support they provide. The STWM is one of their biggest opportunities to raise funds to help them provide services and I have committed to fundraising on their behalf.

Running is a great way to fundraise as most people are willing to donate their money as long as you are the one doing the running. “Take my money; just don’t ask me to run”. I am so excited to be tackling my first marathon at STWM and to be aligned with ASO.

When I last communicated with Alexandra at ASO, she indicated that a pressing issue on their agenda was a meeting space that was affordable and accessible. If you have space like this please contact her.

Please help me to help them continue to help people like my sweet Tilley, by registering for the STWM and fundraising or by donating to my effort. This is something I CAN do.

Sponsor me here: http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1906769&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=direct%2fnone

Register to run: http://www.torontowaterfrontmarathon.com/en/register.htm

For more information about ASO: www.aspergers.ca

Follow me on twitter @christadavidson

Blog: www.runninonempties.blogspot.ca

 

Beer Replacement

Last weekend, here in Canada we celebrated Victoria Day. The long weekend is fondly referred to as
May "2-4" weekend. Historically this was my favorite long weekend of the summer. It was like a ribbon cutting ceremony to the start of summer. Cheers to that!

It's name alone suggests a 3 day party, powered by beer, bars and barfing.  The weekend has not changed, but I have. I just spent my third May "2-4" weekend as a sober girl. Admittedly, this year was much easier to get through than the previous two.

What made this year easier?

It certainly wasn't the sight of packed patio bars or a parking lot full of eager to drink, consumers, at the liquor store. Those things will ignite a craving so strong that I can taste the icy, cold beer and I can feel the cool glass bottle in my hand and the condensation dripping. Those kinds of triggers will probably always stick with me. Just as the sound of the bell made Pavlov's dog salivate, the sight of certain things reminiscent of a good drunk fest will arouse liquor hunger in me. The part that makes all of that livable this year is strength.

I think about drinking often, but not to the point where I am moments away from popping a cork. They are thoughts without action. My thoughts of drinking are often the same, full of good feelings and happiness, but I don't act n them. Time has marched on and with it a healthier mind and body have emerged on my behalf. These changes have not come by thought alone. These modifications have taken root through strict and conscious action.

I eat a clean, healthy plant based diet. I get enough rest. I drink 4-6 litres of water a day. I exercise, except by now, I don't really consider it "exercise", it's just a part of the routine to my day. These choices have all come together to create not only physical strength, but emotional and psychological toughness, as well.

This fortitude is what made this year's May "2-4" weekend pass by without the same desperate longing as the years before. I still thought about drinking, but those thoughts sat somewhere in the back of my mind and not front and centre. The front and centre thoughts were of running.

Canada Running Series posted a page on the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon site, introducing it's "Digital Champions". I am so flattered to be part of this group of influential and dedicated runners. The people at CRS have no idea how good this is for me. When a recovering alcoholic has things to focus on, other than drinking, healing is so much easier. They are playing a big role in my continued wellness. Consider following our journey to the #STWM in October, or even better, run with us.
http://www.torontowaterfrontmarathon.com/en/dchamps.htm

My long run on the weekend was also a source of focus that kept the thoughts of boozing from taking centre stage. I am still following my coach's low heart rate training plan, so my runs are measured by time and not distance. I ran for1 hour and 45 minutes and didn't once think of beer. What I was thinking about was the energy supplement I had taken prior to heading out for my run.

Jonathon from energybits gave me the chance to try the product which is great because I am always interested in new things. I was even more interested in energybits because many of the tweeps I follow have incorporated them into their training. What Jonathon didn't realize is that he was also giving me an opportunity to be a part of something that redirected my thoughts from the firewater. The product is 100% organically grown spirulina algae. To a vegan this means another plant based option for protein which is another reason I was eager to give them a go.

As I ran I was happy to find that my energy level stayed consistent. I did not have a big burst of energy at the beginning of my run, nor did I experience a big crash of fatigue part way through as I have with other glucose based products. I had no uneasy feeling in my stomach and I had no regurgitation. I felt as good at the end of my run as I did at the start and my thoughts were just as wholesome as the supplement. Beer was once again sstationed far away from my mind's spotlight. Instead I was considering what I had to do to get my hands on more energybits.

www.energybits.com

CRS and energybits are two of the things keeping me focused on staying sober. I have so many other things in my life that are deserving of my sobriety, including my family, my friends and my job, but I always had those reasons and I still drank. The number one reason I am sober and staying that way is because I want to. I want to be the best I can be for the things that matter. My motivation and strength to continue honoring my commitment comes from these external things and people. The more time and space I can put between me and my last drink, the better. If it takes running 100km and alignment with 100 ambassador programs, that is what I am going to do. I don't see it as "cheesy", I see it as therapy. It feels pretty damn good to have people who don't even know me, believing in me. I am replacing the good times and feelings I had drinking beer with the good times and feelings I am experiencing via the running community.